Have you been to a Subway lately? It’s like takin’ the SATs just to get a sandwich. ‘Do you want it toasted?’ ‘What kind of bread?’ ‘Cheese?’ I’m like—just give me SOMETHIN’ that looks like lunch! I didn’t know I had to major in Cold Cuts & Decisions to eat! I’m sweatin’ in line, guy behind me is breathin’ heavy, I’m one wrong topping away from a breakdown. It ain’t right!” | Sebastian Maniscalco
1:11
Have you been to a Subway lately? It’s like takin’ the SATs just to get a sandwich. ‘Do you want it toasted?’ ‘What kind of bread?’ ‘Cheese?’ I’m like—just give me SOMETHIN’ that looks like lunch! I didn’t know I had to major in Cold Cuts & Decisions to eat! I’m sweatin’ in line, guy behind me is breathin’ heavy, I’m one wrong topping away from a breakdown. It ain’t right!” | Sebastian Maniscalco
336.5K viewsApr 29, 2025
FacebookSebastian Maniscalco
▶ ▶ Certified Funny Sebastian Maniscalco Ordering at Subway YouTube 360p YouTube 360p
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▶ ▶ Certified Funny Sebastian Maniscalco Ordering at Subway YouTube 360p YouTube 360p
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If you've never stood behind a person like this at Subway, you ARE this person at Subway. See more of Sebastian Maniscalco in Montreal and Ottawa! Presale tickets available now with code JFL http://bit.ly/2KNqsIV | Just For Laughs
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If you've never stood behind a person like this at Subway, you ARE this person at Subway. See more of Sebastian Maniscalco in Montreal and Ottawa! Presale tickets available now with code JFL http://bit.ly/2KNqsIV | Just For Laughs
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That moment when you go to Subway for the first time ever... | Sebastian Maniscalco
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That moment when you go to Subway for the first time ever... | Sebastian Maniscalco
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I have no patience for the Subway newbie. | Sebastian Maniscalco
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I have no patience for the Subway newbie. | Sebastian Maniscalco
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There’s always a problem at the grocery store. 🎤: Sebastian Maniscalco | Comedy Central Stand-Up
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Tag a friend who always holds up the line. #TBT | Sebastian Maniscalco
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You waiting two hours or paying extra and moving on? | Sebastian Maniscalco
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Look at these Gen Z kids in the front row—didn’t even know what a landline was. Appreciate you all—especially the ones who didn’t scroll during my set! Who’s coming out to my @encoretheater.wynn shows this weekend? | Sebastian Maniscalco
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Give it up for the United States Military. Saluting you with a comedic tribute. Thank you for your service. | Sebastian Maniscalco
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Anybody else fear getting murdered at a gas station? Watch the full ‘Stay Hungry’ Special on @netflixisajoke: https://bit.ly/2Yozy8b | Sebastian Maniscalco
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I really sat there like, “Put me in.” For the most elite, dangerous mission in modern history. I get dizzy on escalators but yeah, I’ll try propelling out of a helicopter. | Sebastian Maniscalco
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2026 energy: let the robots take over. I’m done dealing with people. | Sebastian Maniscalco
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Saturday night...who’s taking @Uber | “Why Would You Do That”? Special is coming to @netflixisajoke Tuesday, August 6th | Sebastian Maniscalco
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Heading to Florida for bike rides, golf, and a special edition of The Pete & Sebastian Show. Watch it exclusively on Patreon in just 4 days! Not a member yet? Sign up at Patreon.com/peteandsebastianshow | Sebastian Maniscalco
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Reply to @jessicaslemons this is all to familar #sebastianmaniscalco #standupcomedy @sebastiancomedy
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