A Jeopardy! clue this past week has made two Mennonite mayors world famous. Abbotsford mayor Ross Siemens and Winkler mayor Henry Siemens were mentioned in the clue, which had contestants stumped. “I ...

It’s the biggest art heist in Canadian history as residents of Altona woke up this morning to discover their beloved giant Van Gogh had vanished. “I’m guessing it was the Funk boys with their F-150,” ...

In an effort to “balance religious freedoms with the need to protect our children,” the Alberta Ministry of Edumacation has decided to churn out snazzy new Bibles that exclude anything that might be ...

Beloved blue-haired mother-of-three Marge Simpson will be buried this week in a family plot near Herbert, Saskatchewan. “We ask that the public is respectful at this time of mourning for the Simpson ...

ALTONA, MB Area man Neil Reimer has been awakened from his meddaschlop this afternoon to attend to an emergency at the Klassen gathering. “Get here fast, Neil,” said Mrs. Klassen, “and bring your rod ...

Area woman Olga Sawatzky, 61, is very impressed with her garden this year and says she’s especially excited to be one-quarter of a popular Simon and Garfunkel song. “Not that I listen to that ‘behind ...

STEINBACH, MB Local Main Street racer Collin Dueck, 26, was really looking forward to the new F1 movie, but has come away more confused than ever. “I’ve been a professional racer for almost a decade ...

DALLAS, TX Minutes after discovering the NHL has changed its rule and now allows pucks to be kicked into the net, Dallas Stars GM Jim Nill got on the phone with soccer superstar Lionel Messi. “Heck, ...

In the early days of the Daily Bonnet, you may recall an annual quiz wherein folks were asked to identify real news from the fake variety. Well, we’ve decided to rekindle that tradition here on The ...

The Winnipeg Jets scored a major coup this week after signing hometown hero and NHL legend Jonathan Toews, who, according to rumours, signed with the team exclusively because “they’re the only ones ...

It may have been temporarily paused for now, but this week the White House announced a 87% reciprocal tariff on all penguins, including hockey superstar Sydney Crosby. “Yeah, well I guess this is what ...

A goat at the Mennonite Heritage Village in Steinbach was just awarded the Cutest Animal in Southern Manitoba award this week. “I’m speechless,” said the goat. “There was a lot of competition this ...