Miss Manners: What are the rules for an open bar, expensive gifts at a surprise party?
GENTLE READER: Doing so, and touting the open bar as a surprise, do betray some grandstanding -- drawing attention to how wonderful a host and spouse you are, rather than to the honoree. Rather, Miss Manners suggests giving the present to your spouse just before the party -- and letting them do the bragging on your behalf.
Miss Manners: Would it be showboating to give my spouse an elaborate gift during his 50th birthday party?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am throwing a 50th birthday party for my spouse that will include lunch, games and an open bar, which I’m paying for. (The open bar is a surprise for guests!) I’ve saved up for this party, and for the large gift I purchased: a nice, but not too extravagant, musical instrument. I am very excited.
Miss Manners: Would I be out of line to give my spouse this gift in public?
Miss Manners considers it the height of poor dinner guest behavior to solicit business. She suggests that next time he starts up, you cut him off by saying, “Howard, we’ve invited you over to socialize, not to help you drum up sales. Now, how is that adorable puppy of yours?”
Miss Manners: Would it be ‘showboating’ to give my spouse a birthday present at the party I’m throwing?
While talking to a family member, they told me I should not give my spouse their gift at the party because it would be showboating. Is it in poor taste to present a gift I’m proud to give my spouse at their party?
Miss Manners: I want to give my spouse their gift at the party but is it poor taste?
Doing so, and touting the open bar as a surprise, do betray some grandstanding -- drawing attention to how wonderful a host and spouse you are, rather than to the honoree. Rather, Miss Manners suggests giving the present to your spouse just before the party -- and letting them do the bragging on your behalf.
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